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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

45/366 Simple fix and a need for 5 and 6

Hello all. I fixed the comment feature ... if you have struggled in the past to make comments on my blog-you shan't have that problem now! :D

Today was a good day-or it should have been. I worked a good 6.5 hrs...

I don't really know what it was but I was aggravated today.  I woke up feeling like I am doing less than I should... that I don't work hard enough and that I am not appreciative enough of the wondrous beautiful life that I have... That is how I felt today.

I felt angry and frustrated... and I felt like I was letting myself down.

I think I know where this came from (and now that you can comment feel free to let me know what you think)...  I think this all spawned from writing my defects of character out last night. I felt like I was truly embracing them... I was willing to accept them as things that I have done or have been but at the same time I am ready to heal and let go of them and I DON'T relate to them anymore... They are still a part of who I am and who I have been ... and... because they are defects and I don't want them anymore... it is easy for me to reject myself.

Are ya with me?

SO With that Step 5- "Admitted to HP, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." and Step 6- "Were entirely ready to have HP remove all these defects of character" ARE SO IMPORTANT!!! I KNOW that the only way I can get rid of these feelings is to do step 5 and 6... I feel like with step 5 and 6 I can be reborn a bit... you know what I mean? I feel like with step 6 my HP can truly give me freedom...

Does that make sense?


Anyway-I hope you had a beautiful day!



  1. While I personally struggled with a 10 step program due to the higher power aspect, I must admit that they do have good ideas in place. Getting this far is in and of itself a major accomplishment. Facing the music, especially a solo aria you've been singing most of your life, is a bear. Realizing you aren't singing YOUR aria and switching songs is an amazing feeling. You're doing awesome, chica, and the gods/ universe/ soul/ subconscious know(s) it.

    1. Yeah programs can be difficult and the HP thing was a challenge for me as well especially since I am not a Christian and my relationship and understanding of the Christian "God" was really hard to go into again. But I do know what the truth is to me and that was what I found to be the most important.

      I love your analogy! <3 Thank you so much NK! I am so grateful to have you in my life and as a part of my journey!