18?/366 WOOPS!.. and chill... like BURR chill.

Hello there young people of the world. :)

I am pretty sure today was boring to most standards... so keep that in mind.

Something cool that DID happen this morning was that we woke up to a half a foot of snow right outside our back door! :) It is crazy! LOTS of snow! I guess it had to come eventually... 60 degree weather in January in South Dakota is just a crazy once in a life time thing...

Last night when we went to bed I was REALLY exhausted so I conked right out and slept like a rock until I woke up. Somehow in my dreams I keep forgetting that I have quit sugar... People will be eating candy right next to me and I will ask for some and right when it almost hits my tongue I stop and think "WAIT A MINUTE" Then I throw it... it is odd maybe my subconscious is telling me I am doing a good job and to keep up the good work!? We'll say it's that...

Another odd thing-My belly button is red and irritated and kinda doesn't smell nice. This has happened in the past too when I haven't been eating well... but this time I have been eating great!? Chalk it up to Detox health crisis? ... let's.

The OOPS and the 18? are one in the same (I am talking blog title here people, keep up!). I was reviewing the last couple weeks' posts and realized... I doubled a number!!! EEK! 2 days were labelled 9/366... So technically it is 18/366 (fascinating how i did two 9s ... 9 and 9 is 18 ... or 9x2 is 18 ... same diff... COOL HUH!? and it is 9 days later! WOW) ;)

Anywho... FOOD?

Eggs and Bacon for breakfast... I am the eggspert (GET IT? GET IT? ... expert... now do you get it?!) LOL I am funny! So I am the eggspert in our family for cooking eggs... I can make any egg any way you want it (sunny side up is kinda tough... but every OTHER way.. ;) ) So I throw em in the pan and Ben is weird and likes all sorts of crap on his so I just say "Come season em honey!" and this is what he does:

Bens Eggs with: Basil, Oregano, thyme, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, chili powder... WOW

Yeahhh... I know right? Silly man!

So the rest of the day was hanging out-we watched 12 monkeys (Ben hadn't seen it) and then I went to work. I brought the leftover tomato soup to work and that was about it...

OHOHOH my project... Wanna see some pics?

 That is the whole enchilada so far.

Pat's Winter block.

So I decided to back-stitch around the borders of each "block" so that it pops out more... What do you think? The Snow Flake is to represent WINTER time for the 4 seasons requested by my future mother in law Pat Wermers :)

Trust me-the rest will come ;)

I am keeping a book a journal (Since I have a million of them) for all of the requested patterns and ones I have designed myself... I am putting the request date and completion date as well :D

Thank you please keep the requests coming!


OMG I thought of something else to write about (shocking I know!) ... I am having a "wow i look good" day... Even though I cried for an hour (totally unimportant) I still look good. my neck and face look better on screen and so do my arms... I feel like I am starting to see a difference which is always nice.

Once this 21 days is up Ben and I are going to start making adjustments as needed to our diet. We might do 21 days PERFECTLY CLEAN and then the rest of the month have some pancakes with whole organic maple syrup... or bake a goodie (all primal) or two... but we have yet to decide what we will do on that front. What are your thoughts?

Take care!
ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND!
Manda

16/366 Primal Fuel and Tomato Soup... YUMMY DAY!

Hello! :) Welcome to my blog. Today is day 16/366... I am posting daily if you can't tell. Sometimes even twice daily (when the spirit moves me). I have to say that it is getting harder because it's so one-day-at-a-time. Some days are more boring than others-but posting keeps me honest. So as long as you don't mind suffering through my bland days... then I don't mind writing them.

Today's adventures called for taste testing our newest member of our daily lives Mark Sisson's Primal Fuel. I guess it means we officially have broken the 21 DSD since having this is against the rules... but it really is super good and really good for us. With the busy lives Ben and I lead it is really important to have some snap second meal-replacement options not to mention Post-WOD stuff (HAHA if I ever get back to WODing). I have to say Primal fuel is REALLY DELICIOUS. I understand that it is super expensive (80 bucks a jug) but it is SO HEALTHY and SO NUTRITIOUS. Ben and I both felt GREAT after having it. The entire reason we made them was because we both weren't hungry then all of the sudden minutes before I had to leave for work we were both grumbling in our tummies so we grabbed my CFSF shakers and dumped some in there... IT WAS SO GOOD! It also kept both of us satisfied for the next 2.5 hrs (from grumbly tummies to satisfied) until supper.

I do have to say I am not a fan of protein shakes with water. They taste like flavored water and I don't like being able to taste the water through it. We are going to try them with Almond Milk and Whole Organic Local Milk as well... I will keep you posted on that.

Speaking of supper. We had home made Tomato Soup! From the Make it Paleo cookbook (seriously if you don't have this... buy it... ). It also gave us the opportunity to use the gift we got from Mims! :) The immersion blender! WOO! that thing was crazy awesome... and the soup was DELICIOUS as always.

Our hopes for Eggplant Grilled Cheese was really kind of a failure. I don't know if our Mandolin just doesn't slice thick enough or whatever but when we baked the eggplant there were holes in it and it was not solid like we were hoping... SO we just threw the cheese and bacon on top-tossed it in the broiler-and VOILA still yummy. We put our... open faced sandwiches? on the bottom of the bowl and dumped YUMMY on top of it. The flavors were PERFECT. The cheese and bacon in the soup was delectable, not to mention, this soup has a bit of a bite to it so the sweetness of the eggplant counter-balances it so perfectly! REALLY an all star meal! :)

PICTURES!!! :)

Primal Blueprint's Primal Fuel Dark Chocolate in a CrossFit Sioux Falls Blender Bottle (you would think I get paid for this)

 This is the Vanilla Creme... You should smell these things... yum.

 This is tomatoes and onions and chicken stock and stuffs

 Simmering...

 Ben and I realized that fingers are the primal version of a kitchen brush!

 This is the topping for the eggplants ... it is cheddar cheese and bacon and lots and lots of seasonings!

Ben with the immersion blender we got from Mims...

THE MAGIC OF TELEVISION!

1.75 minutes in the broiler... BAM!

Since they were flimsy we just put them in the bottom of the bowl.

 

Add basil... YUM! :) 

And that is that. Thank you for being a part of my Thursday!

<3 Manda

15/366 SLEEP... sleep... ZZZzzzZZZ

Hello there.

I hope you got a chance to read my blog post that just went up not too long ago. It was something I have been working on for a few days, but something I felt really needed to be said.

There is something else I plan on posting on that might be a bit controversial. For those of you who know me well (and most of you do because I wear my heart on my sleeve) I hate confrontation. So we will see how that all goes.

SO this morning I was supposed to get up early and go do my baseline for CrossFit. I did not go. Due to other circumstances I am VERY tired-all because of the detox mostly (I am assuming and told by most people). So I slept until 1045.

Then Ben and I went grocery shopping... (Today was grocery day) We got: 1 whole chicken, chicken stock, 3lbs bacon, 3 dozen eggs, basil, 5 tomatoes, 2 heads of garlic, a bag of onions, an eggplant, cheese, 4 limes, roasted red peppers, chipolte seasoning, ground ginger, paprika, tomato paste, coconut aminos and more Olive Oil.

this week's menu is: Make It Paleo Tomato soup with (Ben's creative idea) Eggplant Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, and a Yummy Lime pepper chicken (another of my marinades) served with a form of chipolte mayo (home made for the first time). We will see how it all turns out.


After shopping we went to Ben's Mom's house where we had lunch. Ben ate left over crab legs with butter and I had left over taco meat with cheese and salsa... SO GOOD.

We played with clay! :) CLAY!!! Wanna see what I made? (Ben made a 1-up mushroom that got squashed by falling off of the table.) I made an Armadillo and a flower... :)

 This is an armadillo-believe it or not.

My flower-I hope it actually works out... its so pretty. 

That was fun. We had a good time. I had a really hard time there because I knew there were so many foods I "wanted" to eat but couldn't/shouldn't. I felt kinda like I would expect an alcoholic to feel in a bar. It was really hard. Not to mention at about 2pm I started yawning and getting really tired again. Ben asked if I wanted to go home and take a nap and I said that would be really nice. So we did. 

I took a 1.25 hr nap and really enjoyed it. It helped loads. My sweet dear friend Mimi continues to tell me that it is part of the Detox. And Ben is so understanding and compassionate... he just lets me sleep. 

I worked tonight and then when I got home we had eggs and bacon... all of which were AMAZING!

:) 

So that is it for tonight. I hope you have a wonderful night as well!

Manda

Communication through Abstinence.

Being an over eater (OE) is challenging and trying to find ways to be abstinent is even more difficult because there is no way to simply STOP EATING. We (OEs) learn through a trial by fire method sometimes, we have to try and try again to find what foods we can and can not eat. Sometimes, unfortunately, this can lead to an unexpected binge which sets us back at day one. Not only that but admitting to someone that you are unable to eat like a normal person is very hard as well. It is not like food is a *drug*. Food has never (and will never) be illegal. Food is not something commented on often by people with addictions or in recovery, even. Recovering as an OE is a challenge and I am blessed enough to have a partner in my recovery.

As you all know Ben is my best friend and partner in life. He and I met almost a year and a half ago and have a very easy relationship. Ever since the first day we met we had a simple understanding of the compromise relationships required, as well as the vast importance of communication. Even though Ben is an incredibly shy person-he works hard to ensure that communication between him and myself is seamless. Likewise, though I am a woman and I would rather be passive-aggressive by my stubborn Irish nature, I know that Ben loves me no matter what I am going through and he will always support me. This theory has been tested, tried, and passed more than I care to admit-and still we are capable of such incredible things.

Last year Ben and I were both doing really well on our individual programs. We only got to see each other once every week (3 days out of 7 on the weekends) and so we did our best to be together every waking hour of those days. We cooked a few times together, we ate at his parents quite a bit, and we went out a lot. It made sense since he was only here certain days and it was easier that way. Then when we planned to spend Spring Break together last year I had a whole plan of us eating delicious meals at home. Well... I have a tendency to lean toward the *GOING OUT* more than the *STAYING IN* (this gets expensive and very unhealthy). We went out every single day that week. *sigh*

Then late in the spring Ben and I moved in together and started enjoying our life together throughout the summer. And during that time... we went out... A LOT. Ben estimates that we ate at home roughly 6-10 times since we moved in last may. THAT IS BAD! (That doesn't include re-heating meals or quick things like eggs and bacon) We had a problem.

I have always known that I have a problem with food. An unhealthy relationship and dependency on the stuff. I LOVE food. I love food more than I love my own life-which is proven by the fact that I have eaten myself to an obese state with many pending health issues. I was pre-diabetic when I became primal... and I think at any moment, if i let myself, I could get there again. As a matter of fact, after letting myself eat out so much and enjoy an ice cream probably 2-3 times per week I was leading myself right back to where I started. Unhealthy, unhappy, large, and depressed. I couldn't figure out what to do. So I started going to meetings.

On October 8, 2011 I went to my first Overeaters Annonymous meeting. I was scared half to death. Not because of the set up-I get it a lot of people in my family have been through, or are going through, recovery. More so I was scared of what I would have to do. I knew that admitting I was a COE would mean I would have to go through a lot of growth and recovery. I also knew it would be hard to go home to someone who was also suffering from the disease if they didn't understand where I was coming from in my program. Overall I was scared half to death.

I got started on the steps and have gotten through step 3 and am now... admittedly... dodging step 4. I am not sure what is holding me back. There is nothing I am afraid to admit. I know what my list will have on it already... I just don't feel secure yet. Maybe I am jumping ahead to step 6 LOL and trying too hard to think of WHO I will tell... Who knows-and who cares... that is not what this post is about.

Ben also joined OA (I asked his permission before posting this blog entry). He has been abstinent for 15 days (WOO HOO GO BEN). It is not easy for either of us, but it is 10 times easier with a partner. At any given moment Ben and I can have a meeting together if we are struggling. We speak the same language (and I don't just mean English). We can communicate with each other in such a smooth way that it isn't even a challenge. There is no fear when I am telling Ben something I feel might disappoint him. There is no anger ever in our words. Ben and I have NEVER gotten in a fight, and usually I would be concerned for people who have never fought. Isn't it normal for people to fight or argue? Yes. It is. But that is because that is how they communicate when there is something holding them back. Ben and I just never get there because we are constantly talking about how we feel. We communicate more simply than most people and that is because we never stop.

Last week I could feel that Ben was anxious or upset about something, I can almost always tell with him... sometimes it is just a headache other times it is something much worse. He was bringing up how when we are "Done" with this 21DSD thing we can eat some things again right?... We talked about it for a long time. It took over 2 hours of communication on and off. Some of it frustrated, some of it just comments here and there. Eventually I was standing in the kitchen and almost started crying and explained to Ben that him being abstinent and being a part of this healthy lifestyle WITH me is like the greatest gift he has ever given me and if he is constantly wondering when he can get back to the old ways then it will make it harder for both of us. For us it has to be an all or nothing thing. This is an addiction.

Then Ben took a moment and realized that that is exactly what was happening. His insane brain (The one that is addicted to eating, food, over eating, binging and worst of all sugar and potatoes) is constantly trying to tell him, "well this is just temporary it's only days, maybe months until you can get your fix again." Ben then looked at me and said "I am abstinent and I want to stay this way. I know I have been trying to talk myself into things, trying to find ways to sneak out and get food while you're not home... that is the sign that it is the insanity, the addiction, talking and not anything worth while."

I am so happy and grateful to have my perfect partner in my life.

One last thing. Today has been a REALLY hard day for me. I am having problems with a virus that I have (May be discussed in a later post) and I am really really being tempted by bad foods. I don't know why 15 days in the cravings are gone... it is all mental now. This is how it was handled:

From me to Ben:
 I am really struggling today. At your moms house (we went over to visit) I wanted to raid every cabinet and find something to eat that was bad for me... I don't know why.

Have you had days like that?

It was really hard!

Ben's Response:

I have had days where I was like "well i can just go to hy-vee and get __________, cook it and then no one would know...", but then I sit there, wait and think... "Why do I want that? I know its not cause it would taste really good, cause I guarantee it won't, cause you've done that before and afterwards it really didn't, so it's not that. Is it because you need food? Well... I'm not really hungry, if I am there is food i can eat here... K, so Why? Cause I'm addicted to certain foods and my brain really wants to trick me into eating those things... but I'm working on getting smarter and stronger then my tricky side of my brain to be able to stand up to him and go 'NO, YOU DONT NEED THAT' and 'STOP IT BRAIN' "
So, yes, I've had days like that.

He is totally working this program... together-we have a super power. Together-Ben and I can conquer anything.

Thank you Muffin! I love you so much!

Manda

14/366 Slow and steady.

Good day to you.

I am doing well except that it is FREEZING cold outside. I suppose this was inevitable since it is JANUARY!

I don't really have a lot to say about food today. Ben and I got up and cooked eggs. I got my headlight fixed. CrossFit Baseline got canceled but rescheduled for tomorrow at 930. I worked-and it was good.

I am about to go eat left overs from last night.

The OA meeting was canceled as well (apparently) because of Bill Janklow's Visitation. I hate not having a meeting to go to.

That is about it.

Thank you for your contributions to my cross stitch. So Far I have: R2D2, Claddaugh, Seasons, and SWAK... there will be more I am sure. At least I hope.

Peace and love and gratitude be with all of you tonight. Please try to stay warm.

Manda

13/366 A good day... for me and for you? *WEIGH IN DAY*

Hello there readers. Today was a beautiful day for me. How was it for you?

I am going to be brief because I wanna get to my pet-project and I am sick of looking at a computer screen.

First off-my headlight is out on my car-so I am fixing that tomorrow. After that I AM GOING to CrossFit for real this time so stay posted for the results of that. :) I am really excited to get going to with crossfit again! (fascinatingly enough my "First day at crossfit" post is still the number one read post on my entire blog...)

Ben and I got up this morning and did our weigh ins. He is down another 2.5 (putting him at 5 lbs in 13 days) and I am down another 3 (putting me at 8 total lost since 13 days ago) Pretty awesome right?

I worked for a good 5 or so hours today which was good. Ben and I prepped for supper before I left for work and then I worked. I was starving by the time 5 rolled around so I swung by the house where my sugar had eggs ready for me to eat (I hadn't eaten yet all day-woke up NOT hungry AT ALL!)

Then I got home and we had stir fry (last meal on last week's menu, first one on this weeks). Here are the photos:

 This is chicken and onions in one of my "Special Marinades" which you may get lucky enough to see the recipe for at some time.

 The veg! (All cut ahead of time)... Red, yellow and Green Bells, broccoli, carrots, and mushrooms

 This WOK is bigger than your head... I almost guarantee it

This is the finished product. :) YUM It was so good!!!

So that is our food subject for the night. I hope you enjoyed it. Everything tasted absolutely divine. :) 

Now for something near and dear to my heart... cross stitch. Last year I got the idea to do a "Cross-stitch per day" Kinda making a cross stitch quilt. I then realized that idea did not work well for me. I got a piece of Aida (Cross stitching material) and I have a box FULL of string. (both pictured below) I have designed a few different "blocks" for my quilt but I need your help. If you want to be a part of this I would love for an idea of something to represent you in my quilt. I will be posting pictures regularly as I update. If you have more than one idea that is great too! Anything from just a 5x5 square of your favorite color. Your favorite animal or a flower. You want a flag... I can do that too. Just tell me something that represents you that I can add to this large and beautiful work of art. 

Thank you. 

 Box of colors in rainbow order... ANY color you can imagine I have or can get...

I have really big feet... so you can imagine how big it is... I think its 3x4 feet. One day it will don my walls! :) 

**ETA (Edited to add)**


 The first "block" of my quilt. A gradient rainbow. This is the red-green part.

 This is the teal-black part.

 This is what it looks like as a whole. It is 11 inches.  (Sorry the pic quality is crap-you will get sick of seeing this thing so it won't matter much ;) )

Thank you for your readership. Hope you are well. Take care.

Manda

12/366 Happy Meal and a Kiddie Movie.

Another blog title written my by lovely Ben Wermers! :)

Speaking of him today was DATE NIGHT and it was quite the day actually. We got up this morning... and then I took a nap HAHA (yeah that really happened). At first I was totally ticked off at myself for going back to sleep and sleeping in so late (especially when Ben was all awake and stuff) but then I realized I worked 45 hours this week, I went to bed late and got up early, I am also cleansing my body of impurities and trying to get myself whole again. SO then I realized "Hey Manda! Rest is part of it! Rest when you are tired you dork!" and so I did-and it was wondrous!

Then, after my nap, I went and got my nails done. They were in REALLY bad shape... my cuticles especially, so I went ahead and got them done and then splurged and got a pedicure as well... Wanna see a picture?!

Pretty huh? I went with a really neutral tone for my nails because in my job that is really important. My toes are "meep meep meep" after the Muppets. I really love the colors! I even wore open toe shoes on our date!!! :)

So then I came home and we got ready to go out on our date... We looked ADORABLE! Wanna see how cute we are? (OF course you do? am I insane?!)

Absolutely adorable right!?

So then we went to the movies... But before we left both of us started getting hungry (we hadn't eaten yet at all!) So we took a snack ... Paleo/primal equivalent to popcorn and candy! :) Nuts and almond(Sunflower) coconut balls:

We were ninja-like and used my purse to sneak it in!

After the movie (which by the way-if a 2D Disney movie comes out again in 3D i will just skip the 3D and go to the 2D... it really was not a big difference) we went to one of my VERY favorite restaurants Grille 26.

We both ordered the same thing the Angus Meatloaf... it was supposed to come with Yukon Mashed Potatoes and Haystack Onions but we both subbed Asparagus and sauteed onions. OMG so good... we also both opted for the side salad with the house red wine vinaigrette. Delicious meal. 

 This is a salad.

This is meatloaf. 

And this is my handsome man. :) <3

I hope you had a perfect Sunday as well! I love you all and I am so grateful to live the life that I have! <3 

Manda