I wish I could show you, When you are lonely or in darkness, The astonishing light of your own being. ~Hafiz
I think... I am done with spending all my time telling people they are wrong about me.
I think that I have spent too much time trying to be my own version of humble... that I have lost good time in loving myself to the fullest.
I think that I have established new goals for myself... in relation to this beautiful quote.
I kind of stumbled upon a fellow Paleo Eating Disordered Blogger-Paleo Pepper. She has an astonishing outlook on life... and she is motivated to change the way women think of themselves... and I have decided to help her. How do you eat an elephant? one bite at a time? How do you change woman's self esteem? ONE WOMAN AT A TIME! :)
Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not. ~Dr. Seuss
Pepper helped me realize how important I really am. She reminded me that even though it seems I haven't done much (at least to me) I have made huge strides in my health and in my future. I have nothing to do but be grateful for how far I have come. I can not expect to feel better about myself, if I don't start feeling better about myself. I can't beat myself up for making mistakes, what I can do, though, is laugh them off and keep going.
Now it is time for me to stop being so "humble" and start getting real. I am gorgeous. I have a beautiful soul. I have an incredible body. I have a lot of strength; Physical, emotional and spiritual. I am supportive and loving of all people around me. I am fun to be around. I am a hard worker, and I give back to my community and anywhere I can. I am creative, smart, inventive, talented, energetic, and kind.
The list is longer than this, but I don't have all the time in the world. I am mostly repeating what others have said about me, and embracing it as truth. I am all of these things and more. And I am finally ready to accept it, be grateful, and love myself.
Having a low opinion of yourself is not "modesty". It's self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not "egotism". It's a necessary precondition to happiness and success. ~Bobbe Sommer
So what does this all mean? I am going to try to love myself more... yes. I am going to hope that this will reflect well on others and they, too can love themselves... yes. I am going to work toward new goals in my health and life... yes, kinda.
For the immediate future, this means that I am not going to be pounding the pavement trying to work myself to the bone to get into a wedding dress that I think is an acceptable size. I am dropping my expectations for weight loss and size loss. Instead I am focusing on gains. On happiness and acceptance. On loving myself exactly as I am. And on continuing to do what I know to be right for my body. Eating things that give me energy, avoiding things that do not. But not beating myself over anything, ever. I will love myself relentlessly, endlessly.
“Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can; all of them make me laugh.”
― W.H. Auden
And in final hopes that I am one you love, who can make you laugh... here is a video I can not get enough of:
Ben said "THAT IS TOTALLY YOU IN CHILD FORM!" I have to agree with him... it is SOOOO GOOD! (In my best Essex accent!)
Love you all so much, thank you of course for loving me too!