255/366 Thought I would check in through the maddness!

Hey there guys,

I hope I haven't completely lost you all!

I am just checking in mid-madness... I am hoping that one day in the next few months my life will get back to normal(ish). Or at least to where it was before ;)

As I am sure most of you have guessed I have been spending most, if not all, of my time on WEDDING STUFF... There is so much awesome I can't even tell ya!


Pictures of my dress and some of the other things we have been working on are available on my Facebook page...

It is going to be the most beautiful wedding ever I think. I have to be honest, My mother in law has done almost ALL the work for the decorations, and the dress etc... THANK GODS she has the same taste as me when it comes to pretty much everything :) She loves the fall as much as I do (if not more) so this has been really fun for both of us (and a bonding experience).

My father in law is doing his part as well--I really feel like even though it has been a bit stressful in ways, living with them has been REALLY GREAT for our relationship with each other. I don't know many in laws who get along quite the way we do :)

Then there is the whole HOSTING THE WHOLE THING which my mom is so graciously doing... Her work is really going to come in the next couple weeks and get really intense starting on the first... Luckily my MOH, and my mom's best friend will both be in town to help us most of that week! <3

The last several months have been financially trying for us. I am so amazed by how blessed we were to have moved in with Ben's parents right when the crap hit the fan for us... I don't know what we would have done with 700/mo for rent on top of everything else. Saving for a wedding/spending for a wedding would have been a lot harder too. Both my mom and Ben's parents have done so much for us in that regard--I really can't be thankful enough at this point.

There are a lot of things I can't wait for... and by can't wait I mean "will wait as patiently as I can but really wish they would happen sooner" for... ;)

1. Having our own kitchen again... I really really miss cooking with my sweetie. Doing all the things we did together. Having our kitchen all done up the way we want. Especially as time goes on and bridal showers happen--I keep thinking of things I want to add to our kitchen, that we don't have (yet).

2. Having a home. I am very set on not buying a house until we are SURE that we are going to stay in that state (at least for a long while), have some financial security, and are definitely capable of FIXING it ... if something were to break... But a home a house does not make... what I am ready for is having a place to call home for longer than a year (I have talked about this before) there are some cute town houses we have looked at, and some apartments as well. Really I am just ready to feel kind of settled in to a place for a good while...

3. The wedding rush/stress to subside. I know that it is worth it and I am so excited and dont want to rush it away but... I miss my regular day to day life--my hobbies and my spare time and activities... Like choir, crossfit, socializing LOL

4... yeah.. tick tock tick tock... I hate to admit it but that stupid clock is going off like crazy. I am going to try to hit the snooze button as much as I can for the next 3 to 5 years--wish me luck ;)


So... the last thing I kinda wanna get off my chest is the nightmares I have been having. Pre-wedding jitters probably but I have had a lot of very violent flashbacks to times with my ex husband... before and during our wedding and marriage... I know it is probably something I am just working through emotionally. I am so grateful to have the love and support of Ben through it all... he has always been so understanding of my recovery form an abusive situation, and I can't be more blessed.

Thank you all for reading. I love you all so much. I hope your summer went well and you are ready for the best season of all! :) <3

Manda