2/366

DAY TWO!

It has been a pretty good day. I must say I kinda had a "Fat and ugly" day but I focused on other things (like how darn tired I was) and it all seemed irrelevant. I have two theories on the matter. One is that it is time for a change (OBVIOUSLY) and therefore my heart and mind are starting to disown my body as it were... the second is that I KNOW consciously that I am making the right choices now... so the left over parts of me that I want changed are seemingly more obvious. Something along those lines probably-OR i just had a fat and ugly day-IT HAPPENS!

Based on the last few nights and my inability to get right to sleep I have determined that I need to do some more work on being PRIMAL. I think I need to cut blue-light sources around the same time every night if I want to be healthier, happier, and more rested. (I have been tossing and turning for at least an hr and a half every night before going to sleep) ONE of the difficulties in this is that I have a late schedule but sometimes an early morning to follow (This is my fault entirely I claim responsibility BUT I love my job AND I love money... What can I say?). Therefore when I don't get home until 10 pm I find myself wanting to get online and get stuff done or chat with people... or a certain person... for longer than I probably should. THEN it's like "OH IT'S LATE TIME FOR BED!" and I can't sleep for shit.

Solution: Get off the damn computer lady and get some relax time before shutting your eyes DUH!

I will work on that :D


Now for the food of the day.

Ben and I had the chicken bacon HEAVEN dish for lunch today (SRSLY this will be a staple in our family for years I AM CERTAIN... what kind of kid wouldn't eat their broccoli and spinach if it came like that!? none that's who!)

For supper I got home from work to a man in a kitchen :D He made burgers from the turkey meat we got at Pom Market yesterday. It was good-I really struggle with dry burgers cuz I like a lot of sauces... BBQ, MAYO, Mustard, Tomato sauce... etc I really dont like plain meat very well (odd i know)

SO I did add a bit of dijon mustard (SMALL AMOUNT I might have had 2 g of sugar in all) which helped a lot-until i realized the mustard expired in april of 2011... god help me!

Here are photos!

 Prior to Piling... The burgers and the fixins. Bacon and caramelized onions... the bacon was a bit ODD for my taste-we might go back to the ones we used to get at the deli... is that bad?

 Ben's night to pic the veggie-SURPRISE it's carrots! LOL That man and his carrots... I think it is a toss-up between cooked carrots and mushrooms...

The Feast! I am working on my FOOD PHOTOGRAPHY... so many of my friends (Mimi, Trish, D, Shannon, Batty, Teri, DR, Noah etc etc etc) are like ALL STARS at food pornography... mine-not so good. Workin' on it folks. Keep hangin in there! 

So that was the day-I guess. OH I had a handful of mixed nuts for a snack-GOD THEY'RE GOOD! I never thought there could be a difference in taste/quality of nuts... BUT OH GOD IS THERE!

I hope you all had a wonderful Wednesday and enjoy a beautiful and inspirational Thursday.

With Gratitude!
Manda

1/366

This is day one... of many. One day at a time is a 12-step program concept (and pretty much everyone else) but... It is really huge that when biting off something as HUGE as sobriety or abstinence... one day at a time leads to 20 years of sobriety... and THAT is worth it!

So today was great! We did our weigh in... I am at 238. Kinda a painful truth considering I was at 200 a year and a half ago, but there are not supposed to be regrets! SO... moving on here we go with day one.

We went grocery shopping at Pomegranate... OMG IT WAS AWESOME... My goal was for us to not spend more than 89 dollars (it was random) and we spent 87... EVERYTHING we got was local, organic, and grass fed. The people there  are so NICE and they were all so knowledgeable about the stuff and the people who raised it all and stuff. Its the first time Ben and I ever cared about what we bought... we typically just shrug it off and say "well meat is meat, produce is produce..." But this time we got all grass fed, local, free range stuffs... including eggs.

OUR TAKES:

3 dozen eggs, a lemon, a full chicken, chicken breasts, broccoli (which the guy went to the back just to get for us because it just got in today), a lb of ground turkey which is apparently really good, a lb of ground sausage, 2 lbs of BACON, a bag of frozen spinach, walnuts, almonds, and sunflower seeds ... and that might be it... :)

So then part of that food went into our supper... (our lunch was eggs because we didn't have much time)

My very good friend Mimi wrote an AMAZING recipe for a chicken and broccoli meal... IT WAS SO GOOD!!!

HERE ARE PICTURES!

The steamed broccoli

Ben adding the chicken

Adding the broccoli to the spinach

the meats in the pan

Adding the coconut milk

Dumping the meat over the veg!

Before baking

After baking!

 OMG HOW HAWT IS THAT?!

 AND paleo trailmix! ;)

I might be known for posting too many pictures...

BEN and I are both incredibly impressed with this delicious meal and look forward to more delicious meal ideas from the Beautiful author of this one! :)

(her request for all this pimping is that I post my recipe for marinades... and then create an e-book)

Thank you SOOO MUCH for being a reader and for supporting me on my journey!

Manda :D

366 Days of Primal?... One day at a time.

I hope you all had a lovely and magical new years. Ours was pretty nice-we spent it with Ben's friends in Ames Iowa and played LOTS AND LOTS of games! What's that you said? Games in Ames? YUP shonuff.

As I said in my last post this year is a lot about being better overall. *I may be being redundant since I didn't review my last post AGAIN**

I do not really support "New Years Resolutions" very often... because they seem like a set up. If you have read my blog, however, you see I do a GREAT job for setting myself up already ;)

Here is the thing though--I am wanting to have the BEST YEAR EVER... I know it will be already based on certain circumstances and the fact that I am happier now than I have ever been... HOWEVER I really would like to challenge myself to make it even better... Here's how:

1. Grandma. My family and I are dividing up the year and writing a short letter to my grandma weekly... I will be first, then Brett then Mom... every 3 weeks continually throughout the year. She is really getting older of course (as we all are) and her health has not been the best. We all kind of have a feeling this will be her last full year with us and so we want to make it THE BEST ever... of course-sometimes crap like this makes people get healthier--which means we win by getting to keep her around a bit longer! :D OH Also I MUST call them Bi-Weekly... its in my calendar and on my phone as an alarm... I HAVE to get better at that... I would kick myself if I felt I slacked in the department of loving my grandparents enough.

2. Girlfriends. I have lost (geographically) a lot of them this year... most of the women I consider my friends live (at the closest) 3 hours away... at the furthest... 1400 miles... I do have some girl friends who live here in town and those are relationships that aren't SUPER strong and I would like to work on. SO Every week I will spend time with a gal pal. Either on the phone, on skype, or in person... I will make sure to spend a good time with all of my friends... keeping my friendships alive.

3. Meditation. I would like to spend more time getting to know myself spiritually. The last few years have been an intense spiritual journey for me and I would love to continue on that path by working on practicing meditation.

4. Writing. Not just the average jot it down writing... I want to get my creative juices flowing. Poetry, stories, books, blogs whatever comes to me I will write.

5. Steps. I will finish my 12 steps this year. I am on step 4 (take a fearless moral inventory ...) toughy... but the next 3 steps are like a bullwhip... you just crack it. One day at a time.

6. Creativity. I mentioned the writing thing already-and I would like to keep my creative juices flowing as much as possible. I am planning on making a weekly or bi-weekly video on youtube in sign language... I am really excited about this project. I know my interpretations won't be 100% but the point is to be creative... and that is what I will do. Also, working on cross stitches more... I love doing them... and I am pretty damned good at it. I have 3 gift-stitches lined up and I have a couple I am making for myself... Suggestions for ANY of my creative goals are always welcome. (Music videos, Cross stitches... etc)

7. Last but not least HEALTH. Of course-OA is a part of my health... I am also focusing (we are focusing) on eating a LOT healthier this year. Ben and I both recognized that we have let ourselves get a bit out of control since getting together... letting our selves go as it were. We both have made a goal to have a nearly 100% primal year. To me the hardest thing to imagine is not eating ice cream and I have not eaten ice cream for almost 80 days.... We will take it a day at a time but our plan is to be as clean as possible and make all food at home instead of spending, and eating, out. Lastly (healthy wise) I totally dropped the ball with CrossFit. Looking back at old posts and pictures of myself when I was CFing ... I WAS FREAKING HAPPY! I loved how I looked and felt... I loved how strong I got. I WANT THAT again.


To be fair... I have bitten off a lot... HOWEVER in finding abstinence (the OA equivalent of Sobriety) I have found a plethora of time and energy to do other things. With that time and energy I will make my life, and the world, a better place to be.

I love you all. Thank you for supporting me. HAPPY NEW YEAR and I hope it is the BEST YEAR EVER!!!

Manda.

So... Long time no see.

I didn't even re-read my last blog post. I don't know where to start with this. I think this blog is here to make me fell held accountable. Accountability is REALLY what I need right now.

It is the New Year (well next week it is at least) and with that comes TONS of plans for the coming year. "I am going to .... this year" Resolutions that go unresolved ... and all that jazz. I am good at making resolutions... and not following through. As you have witnessed.

One thing that has changed is I recently joined a 12 step program (overeaters annonymous) which has helped me find that there is a lot of time in the day when you are not spending all of your time in your addicitons. So that's one step of my motivation. Another thing is Ben and I are engaged to be married on October 6th which is 285 days away. That is a REALLY good reason to want to make some changes.

A good friend of mine (MIMI) has been working a CLEAN PRIMAL eating for the last 26 days and it is doing some AWESOME things for her. It is really easy for me, lately, to make excuses about what I put in my body and justify them as "primal enough" ... there is no such thing as "primal enough" the best diet to have is MEAT, VEG and (good)FATS... that is ALL and there is no reason why I should make such a big deal, and so many excuses, about it.

So all of that compiled together... this is a change I want to make. For the betterment of my health, of my year, of my life, of my future, of my wedding, of my everything. I was strict once-I can do it again. Saying no is hard-but paying doctor bills is harder. Not to mention-I have said no EASILY to sweets for 76 days now... That is pretty remarkable for me. This is the beginning of something. I hope it is not just another awesomely motivated post that fizzles.

Thank you for your readership,
Manda

STRONG AND HEALTHY not thin and pretty

Hey there folks,

Long time no post eh? Lack of motivation and energy will do that to ya. However, I am here to tell you it all ends today.

I happened to fall onto an AMAZING ARTICLE about a chick who cares about strength far more than anything else... she eats to be strong, she lives to be strong, and HEY GUESS WHAT? She loves lifting as much as I did!

This article made me realize a few things.

1. I have been making excuses.

Yes they are valid (in my opinion) and very true. Everyone around me (in the situation I am in) is doing the same thing. But when have I ever let the actions and reactions of the people around me gauge my success? NOT OFTEN... so I realize that the excuses I was making, however valid, are going to be invalid very soon (*Keep me in your prayers*) and so therefore-I might as well get a jumpstart on my health and energy before hand, so I don't have to balance too many new things at once. (No matter how good I am at multi tasking)

2. I have been going at this ALL WRONG... for 23 years...

Dr.'s say "Amanda, we feel you need to lose weight because ___________." you can fill in that blank with about anything health-related and I have probably heard it... on SEVERAL occasions.

Mom says "I love you sweetie but I am concerned about your weight/eating habits/health/well being" ... SHE IS MY MOM... That is her right and hell, it is her responsibility... My mom, bless her heart, doesn't really get it. She tries and I love her for trying but she doesn't get it. She has done SO MUCH and worked SO HARD to help me lose weight that it has hurt her heart, and pocket book, and spirit to be quite honest-and no kid wants to be the reason for their parent's pain.

My dad had his way of saying it too... but that isn't an issue...

My ex  said... "...." WHO GIVES A CRAP WHAT HE SAID ANYWAY?!

DO YOU GET THE POINT? what is the common thread? ... yes yes yes... it is other people and that is valid but I wanted to lose weight for myself on several occasions as well (For dating, or for health, or for just happiness overall)

other than that? -- LOSE WEIGHT... that is not really what I want... and quite frankly I don't think it is what I need. I WANT TO BE STRONG. I WANT TO BE HEALTHY. I WANT TO BE SEXY. I WANT TO BE UNSTOPPABLE! When I look at people I want to be like... they aren't the soft or fat-skinny people... no no no I WANNA BE LIKE STACI!!! I wanna be strong and toned and happy and healthy. AND I CAN!

3. The effin scale...

You know. I would love to say that all this time I didn't care what the scale said... BUT I DID. I was seriously dependent on it.

Here it is. You can hold me to it... FROM THIS DAY FORTH... I WILL NEVER STEP FOOT ON A SCALE AGAIN!

*Caviat* Until I am the body-shape I want to be... then I am just curious what I will weight.

4. CrossFit

You know I loved it. You all know that. If you have read anything I have written in the last year you know how much Cross Fit meant to me. So when I had to stop going because I could no longer afford it... it was devastating.

But... I could have gone back... for the last 2 weeks I was supposed to go back, but I havent. WHY? 1. money again... I am looking into it too much. 2. I AM SCARED SHITLESS... what are they all going to think? I have reverted FAR BEYOND where I was last time... and I am weaker etc. But seriously? What do I expect? That I can leave something as intense as CF and come back looking BETTER?! It's impossible...

I am going back. But I am focusing on lifting. I can do cardio on my own (CF doesn't have much cardio anyway) with Zumba and other activities. At least 2/3 days I go will be OLY if not more.

5. A sub category to Cross Fit is TRACKING... (as far as lifting is concerned)

I didn't do any formal tracking. I just kinda wrote down my weights and that was that. I wasn't there long enough to really get an average or anything or recognize a lot of improvement in myself. So this time... I am going to more formally and more personally track my lifting... It is IMPORTANT to me... and I want results... if I track I can get those results. FAST.

That is pretty much it... those are the 5 major contributors to my failing as of the last 9 months.

If you haven't noticed I am almost the same size I was in August of 2009 when I had only lost 30 lbs... I am not where I was last year at this time by any means, but that does not mean that I am not able to get there-and get further.

I have to eliminate some of the stressors in my life-and I am working on that.

I am also working on looking into spirituality more intently. Which-isnt very hard for me I just had sort of lost sight of it.

Financially I am doing ALRIGHT. Ben and I are working together on this and I think it is going well... It is nice to know that I am technically paying ON everything... and no matter how long it takes-things will be paid off eventually. :)

I want to be strong and I want to be healthy.

When I look at pictures of when Ben proposes to me (HAHA) I want to be proud of who I was at that time.

When it comes time to make my wedding dress (Yeah what? Future much? I know i know...) I want to be happy with what I look like.

When I am pregnant I want to lift... OH GOD DO I WANT TO!

When I am pregnant I want to LOOK pregnant... not just look like a fat lady who might be pregnant.

When I am a mom I want people to guess how old I am and be wrong.

and most importantly ... I want to feel unstoppable again.


SO WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT IT!?


1. I am planking once every morning and every night and keeping track of my times.
2. I am eating primal. For real. No crap allowed... no fake foods... no un-natural carbs... nothing that should not be in my body will enter my body. Now... once in a while will I have something... sure... something small and meaningless... But... overall I want to live like I preach not be a hypocrite.
3. Back to CF when I get back from my trip (Doesn't make sense to join and then leave... esp when I need that 100 bucks for my hotel room since I wont be... oh never mind... ) Mostly lifting (2/3 times/week)
4. Smile... be happy... keep positive...
5. Work on my spirit, intuition, and healing.
6. Be proud of who I am and what I do.
7. Don't even look in the direction of a scale until I am the size I feel I want to be.
8. GET STRONG-but not like a body builder.
9. Do things that matter (Volunteering, music videos, writing, etc)
10. Ask for help when I need it.


I guess that is it. For now, until I add more.

How many lists did I have in this post?! HAHA ... oh well

I hope you enjoyed the read. I mostly wrote it therapeutically... and for a reference point.

I am keeping track of everything in "excel" so I will post as I go.

HERE WE GO!



OFFICIAL BEFORE PICTURES: (yes I know... I have regressed)

Thanks for reading, and for your support! <3

Manda

New developments in love

Twelve months ago right now I was more excited than ever about my upcoming graduation from college, my successful life as a primal chick, and my job doing what I loved. My thoughts of men at the time were really few and far between. I knew I would be moving into my own place on June 1st and starting my job on June 7th. My hopes were that I would be moving out of my apartment in a year or less to move to a different state for work, namely Colorado.

Flash forward 11 months... and I am moving out. I was right! However, I was OH SO WRONG. About 14 months ago I told a fellow interpreter that I am NOT a fan of South Dakota and will NOT be sticking around. She said "oh just wait until the moment that you meet the right man and realise that South Dakota isn't so bad after all." I laughed at her comment and shrugged it off. "No man is worth living HERE for... and as far as I am concerned the men in South Dakota aren't that special."

Today I moved in with Ben. Ben... Is someone special. I didn't move across the country or even across town... I moved across the hall. But this cozy two bedroom apartment is just what we need and I see a bright and beautiful future in our midst. Now? South Dakota isn't so bad. As a matter of fact, I love it! My need to get out that has been aching in me for the 8 years I have lived here, GONE. I love it, it is home, and I am not kidding or settling or saying "well, i can deal with it i guess..." Nope, completely changed my mind, maybe I wasn't looking in the right places. Maybe I was holding other states (Colorado) to higher standards-not to say Colorado doesn't deserve the praise.

Do you remember the list? this man-He  IS the list... he is the list and everything in between. Forget a 65% or an 82% or even a 99%... he is at least 112% if not better... Perfect? ABSOLUTELY NOT... Perfect for me? MOST DEFINITELY.

Thanks for reading. Give someone a hug and kiss tonight.

LOVE :D
Manda <3

Set up to fail?

So I am wondering if by over planning and over doing things I am perpetually setting myself up to fail?

This is possible. Especially since I have been known to do it in the past. So what I have done instead of committing myself to too much (Like you see in the previous posts on this blog) is just start from the beginning from step one.

The first step I took a year ago to get myself clean and healthy was to read the Primal Blueprint and to enjoy living my life every day through those thoughts, words, and laws. The primal blueprint is not an end all be all for me nor is it the "bible". It is what works for me and I don't expect anyone to heed or agree to what I want just because of this blog and because it is what I say is right. I encourage everyone to do their own research and find what works best for them.

On that note-PB is what works best for me. It makes sense, it isn't hard to do, and it is pretty rewarding in a myriad of ways.

I have begun to re-read the book The Primal Blueprint. I will post, when I can and want to, about what it is doing for me.

Today it did a lot. I was talking to Ben and mentioned that the first time I read the book it was like the book was educating me and introducing me to new ideas and concepts which I just devoured. This time it is like Mark himself is telling me "Manda, it's ok you slipped, we all do. We are humans. Just keep in mind that we have reasons for doing those things and we have reasons for being Primal. Be primal, love it and live it. Stop THINKING about what you want and start just DOING and BEING what you want."

He is right. I can do this because 1. I have done it before and 2. it is well worth the effort it takes.

I am quite ready for the time in the future when Ben and I are living together and hopefully we will have a regular eating pattern of some kind. Just excited about the idea of eating delicious food more often.

Anyway-that is all I have to say for now. Good night and thank you for your support through all my ups and downs. I'm human.

Manda